What I Want
by Sombereyes
Summary: To never be alone again, what more could she ask for? If a cure to her illness could not be found, and the springtime of youth would never end for her, than what better way to ensure her own happiness? Why not dive headlong into a home packed with children that would one day also yield families of their own?


A/N: No matter what I do, I just can't get Akuma no Riddle out of my head, and this pairing, well it just seems right…at least in my demented mind…LOL!

For this song, I was listing to a YouTube singer named Veela, her acoustic song, Mocking Blue is simply amazing. It reminds me of Suzu, and I think, in someways, Haruki. Might want to give it a listen if you want to know what inspired this.

Only a one shot...I don't own Akuma No Riddle.

**What I Want**

The laughter of children reached her ears as she sighed with a mix of contentment and confusion. Washing the dishes would have to wait it seemed, as one of the youngest in the house argued with one of the oldest. Drying her hands on her apron, she stood in the doorway, a mock sternness on her features. "You kids had better mind your manners." She said, picking up a small diaper clad little boy who made a fuss as he plopped down onto his bottom for the umpteenth time that morning.

"They are." The oldest of the children, Fuyuka, managed to say as a slice of bread hung loosely in her teeth. The young teen was in a rush to tie her bow for school. "Are you sure you can keep everything under control by yourself?" She asked, not entirely sure of the young woman in front of her.

"Well, someone needs to." Suzu said as she rocked back and forth to ease the restless toddler on her hip. "Your mother could use the help, and since Haruki's off to work, who else is there?"

"Yeah, well if sis didn't have to work so much, she would be here." A young boy muttered, arms crossed as he send an unhappy gleam Suzu's way. He took one glance up to his sister and then huffed a stream of air upwards, removing his long bangs from his eyes. "Where is she anyway?"

"Pulling extra hours at the construction company." Fuyuka told her little brother. "Now listen, Aki, you're the man of the house, and while I'm at school, the others are going to follow your example. Try to do as you're told, okay?"

The boy looked down at his shoes and sighed. "I want to go with you." He said, rather unhappily at that.

"We've been through this." The elder sister sighed. "You and the other kids have to stay here until your classroom opens. It's better for mom to not have to worry about all of you so much."

The boy looked around, he was much older than most of his other siblings, and finally he rolled his eyes. "It's mom's fault for having so many of us." Still, even as he said it, there was a true worry in his words as he glanced over to the closed bedroom door. "She's going to get better this time too, right?"

"Maybe…" Fuyuka said slowly. "But, she's only going to get better if you keep out of trouble." She brushed the long strands of ruddy hair atop his head and then sighed, one look at the clock told her she'd have to run for the train. Grabbing her backpack, she sent Suzu a wave. "Good luck, you're going to need it."

"I don't think I'm going to have that much trouble." Suzu said as she looked around, her first task of the days was going to be cleaning the living room. Thinking little of it, she passed the toddler to Aki. "Here, take your brother and the others outside to play."

The boy looked up at her with those aggravated eyes that so much resembled his sister's and held his youngest sibling at arm's length. "I have school too, ya know." He grumbled and set the child down.

"Not for another hour you don't." Suzu retorted. "I know each and every one of your activities. You can't lie to me." As she began to fold one of the blankets that was sitting rumpled on the floor, she looked over to his unwavering form. "You can trust me, Aki." She told him, but the boy looked unconvinced.

"Big sis told me that." Doing as he was told, he picked up the baby again and went into the playroom to gather the others to play in the back yard. As she watched him leave, she withheld her sigh. There would be time to feel badly for him later. Instead, she took some simple porridge to the woman resting alone in a bedroom, leaving it by her bedside without a word.

It was a typical morning in the Sagae household. Hectic and loud, but in spite of all the cheer, a darkness loomed overhead. The smell of death lingering within the woman who fought a war with her sickly body. It was oddly refreshing, Suzu decided, after agreeing to help out around the house. She was a woman who didn't really need anything.

Trapped forever in her youth.

Up keeping a household was gloriously uneventful compared to the life she had been forced to lead, and although the thrill of a good game of cat and mouse was gone, there was something to be gained with the idea of family. It was abstract of course, and something she both loathed to think of, and yet craved all at the same time.

Progeny, continuity, loyalty, and safety lingered where one precious life ended, and another began.

To never be alone again, what more could she ask for? If a cure to her illness could not be found, and the springtime of youth would never end for her, than what better way to ensure her own happiness? Why not dive headlong into a home packed with children that would one day also yield families of their own? Why not selfishly refuse to be alone ever again, casting away the idea of abandonment like the dirty cloak of the past that it was?

Suzu Shouto couldn't find those answers, and, didn't try to seek them.

Instead, with her easy going smile, and affable nature, Suzu went about caring for the household that was little more than disorderly ciaos on the best of days. Children were never meant to raise children.

When the time came, she walked the young ones to school, their lunches in hand as she bid them a farewell, telling them she would pick them up when the last bell of the day rang. Then, she went shopping for dinner supplies, and tended to the frail woman in bed in ways that humbled her very soul.

"The children didn't give you any trouble, did they?" The woman, a mother of so many, asked weakly. "I know my boys especially can often give sitters quite a bit of trouble."

Suzu glanced over to the bedding laid out on the floor where the youngest napped. "They're good kids, all of them." Respectfully and carefully, Suzu removed the woman's clothes to bathe her. She was so weak, even that was a task she was unable to do by herself, and Suzu pitied the lack of power. "You push yourself too hard."

"No, not nearly enough, I'm afraid." The woman smiled sadly, guilt in her eyes. "Haruki feels responsible, I'm sure. She's the oldest, but she knows she can't accomplish nearly enough." With that, she put her hand over Suzu's own. "That's why I'm glad she has such a dear friend to confide in."

She halfheartedly returned the smile, but, she couldn't maintain that lie. "We're not friends." Suzu said carefully.

"Ah, I see." Haruki's mother answered a bit uneasily. "Lovers, of course. Well, who am I to judge?" The uncertainty in her voice gave honesty to her otherwise cold response. Truly, it was little more than a simple shock that the woman brushed aside willingly. "It makes sense, I suppose. Why else would you see fit to be here as you are now?"

"Please, don't misunderstand." A haste in her words she couldn't pull back made her tense, and Suzu sighed. "We're not lovers either." She pulled her lower lip between her teeth, and averted her gaze. "It's just that I have far too much time on my hands, and your family doesn't have nearly enough. I envy Haruki in that way."

She put the wet cloth in the bowl of steaming water and put it to the side, grabbing a dry towel. The woman before her wordlessly complying with every soft direction and movement, allowing to be handled in ways that made her utter weakness apparent. The quiet was stifling and awkward, so Suzu forced herself to smile once again. "This might sound wrong, terrible even, but some part of me wishes to be like you. This kind of sickness is something I'll never be able to understand, but, because of that, I can pity your children too."

"Either way, I'm grateful to you." The ill woman replied.

"Mom, I'm home…" A voice as she stepped through the front door and made her way to the back of the house, where Suzu was helping her mother redress. "Suzu, you're still here? You didn't have to stay all day."

"It's really no trouble." Suzu murmured. "We were simply having a nice chat." She gathered the bowl and towel from the floor and bowed slightly, excusing herself. "I'll go make some tea."

"Geeze…" Haruki watched as her former classmate made her escape and shook her head. "What's gotten into her all of a sudden?"

"A good question that I think needs to be repeated." Her mother laughed, patting the floor next to her invitingly. Her tired eyes full of kindness as they fought to stay open. "I wish I knew the answer myself. That girl is an enigma for sure."

"Hmm." Haruki nodded, kneeling at her mother's side. "She said she wanted to help, but, I didn't actually think she would stay here."

"She must have suffered something profound." Her mother said. "It's in her eyes."

The young woman nodded, but said nothing. Instead, she drew up the covers so that her mother wouldn't catch a cold, and checked to see if she had a fever, pushing long bangs aside, feeling a cool, clammy forehead as her answer. "You need to rest more often mom."

"I'm alright, dear." She laughed, taking her daughter's hand in her own. "You should worry over yourself."

A pot of tea and a tray of cookies were deposited beside them a moment later when Suzu returned, a pitying look upon her face for only a moment. "The school gets out soon, I'm going to go pick up the children."

"Wait." Haruki said quickly. "I should do that. After all, I got out of work early for strictly that."

"It was not needed." Suzu said, noticing the unease within the beautiful woman of strawberry tresses. "I can look after your siblings, I promise. You do not need to leave early again." Then as she turned to leave, their eyes met momentarily. "I'm surprised that you'd assume otherwise. My capabilities more than speak for themselves."

Stunned by those words, dark and uncanny though they were, Haruki found herself awed by the hints of pain that seemed to linger in a far off place that was shadowed by a protected past. Instead, she looked down at the tray of tea and cookies, frowning.

"Haruki?" Her mother asked, a bit worried. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm okay." She said, though her lips thinned into a tight line.

"You don't look it." She told her daughter simply, giving her shoulder a gentle nudge. "Go on baby-girl, I'll be alright." At first, she didn't budge, but then, her mother gave her another nudge, and Haruki nodded, stood up, and ran after Suzu who wasn't even a block away yet as she kept a leisurely pace.

"Idiot…going off on your own like that, what were you thinking?" Haruki asked as she caught up without too much of a hassle.

"Nothing complicated." Suzu laughed. "Merely that it was time to pick up the others from school. Was I wrong to assume that?"

"No, I guess not." It seemed foolish now, walking side by side like this, the situation was an odd one, and hesitantly, Haruki sighed. "Hey, umm…you don't have to do these kinds of things."

"No, but I want to." Suzu said, coming to a stop, pulling Haruki down a quiet and empty street. "Listen, it's selfish but I want to do things I've never had the opportunity to do before. I may just be living vicariously, but, can't you grant me that much?"

Haruki scowled a bit with confusion, but nodded. "If that's really what you want…" She said slowly, unsure of the true motivations behind the action. "If this is another job…"

"It has nothing to do with before." Suzu said with deep breath and closed eyes, she shook her head. "It's not." She forced another smile that didn't reach her eyes. "I'm trying to move on from things I can't change, so, this is merely a convenience for me…a distraction, if you will."

"I don't understand why you'd have to do that with my family." Haruki murmured, arms crossed. The stance was one that her brother often mimicked, most of her weight shifted onto one foot as she leaned back on the white brick wall behind her. "Maybe you should fine a new hobby."

"I don't want one." She said heatedly. "If you want me to leave, I will…but, I don't want to."

"These aren't your problems." Haruki said, pulling some pocky out from the box she kept in her pocket, perching one of the long cholate covered sticks between her teeth, a soft snap ringing out as she bit down. "That's my family, and they mean the world to me."

"You can't do it alone." Suzu said then, determination sinking into her voice. "So just let me help." She wasn't thinking clearly as she leaned forward, her hands trapping Haruki as she lean in, golden eyes meeting deep amber. "If you want those kids to have a strong future, you're going to need help. You can't do everything all by yourself."

"I don't know what you think you're doing, but, I'm not some defenseless little girl." Haruki said, crunching down on her snack of choice once again.

"I'm not trying to do anything." Suzu said with an easygoing kindness. "I'm not saying you're defenseless either, but, don't you think there's a line…a point when a person just can't do something anymore?"

"No, I don't." Said coolly, not backing down. "You obviously do though."

"Just…" Suzu licked her lips. "Can you just trust me?"

"Depends on why I'd want to." Haruki said quietly, taking the pocky out of her mouth slowly. "Do you have a good reason?"

Suzu closed her eyes painfully, biting down hard on her lower lip as her breath escaped her. "I don't want to be alone anymore." The tiniest crack in her voice pulled the things she didn't want to say to the surface. "I don't want to watch others be alone either…" She shook her head, and leaned in close, one hand lifting gently to tug on long strawberry bangs that framed Haruki's face. "I just want something…someone…that's indisputably loyal." Wetting her lips with the tip of her tongue, she murmured one last mournful sentience in ghosting kiss.

"I want to be with you, until of your time."


End file.
